Mr. Akshay Palanivelu, 2nd Dan
Internationally Certified Instructor
Martial Arts, Yoga, and Chi Kung
Instructor Certification in the arts of Tang Soo Do, Yoga, and Chi-Kung
To complete the requirements for my International Instructor Certification, from October 2023 to March 2024, I went through changes that directly affected the quality of my living. Some of these changes include how I carry myself more relaxed and balanced, leading to my movements slowing down and becoming more sure, and staying more conscious of my surroundings and state of being. As I go through different settings(school, stores, other classes), I notice the different energies around me and carry on with my stuff without having to be affected by them. These changes, although simple, came gradually with this class and were a result of sticking to a way of doing things. Acceptance, consistent effort, and humility played key roles in my change. The goal of this writing is to take a closer look into these changes, how they took place, and how they are helping me currently.
My expectations from this class
When I first heard the idea of yoga class, my mind went to the books I had read or the videos I had seen of people doing very advanced stretches. I thought that I was also going to do those stretches in this class. However, I was mostly looking at the perception of the class rather than learning the way of the yogi and the benefits that it would bring to me. I also expected to be very relaxed at the end of class as I knew I always felt relaxed after karate or chi class due to me focusing my mind on my body and breathing to release tension. As I went through this class, however, my perspectives have changed.
How it started
When my family and I started this class, besides my expectations I had to keep a few things in my mind. One was the fact that Master Bell told us that this was a certification class and that completing this class for 6 months would mean that I would be internationally certified as an instructor. This was a lot for me as when I started this journey 10 years ago, I never expected myself to become an instructor. Along with this being a certification class, it would also mean that I would now be coming to the dojang 5 days every week. This idea did not settle with me at first because I was thinking about how I would ever finish my homework. This class changed the structure of homework and eating and made me spend most of my time being productive as I would not have as much time. If I didn’t though, I would have to face the consequence of staying up late to finish my homework and then sleeping late which would lead to me getting up late and rushing to school. When I accepted this class, That is when I could look for how I could use my time more efficiently and that is when I got more stuff done.
Getting accustomed to the class
I had to do many things differently as the structure changed to classes 5 days a week. Managing my homework better was one of the things I had to do as I had 2 hours less than before. This forced me to put full focus on my homework and make sure that I didn’t get distracted or else I would have to skip my sleeping time. Once I started focusing more, I was able to sleep relatively on time even though some days, I would have had more homework that I didn’t complete at school because I was having fun with my friends. This class affected all parts of my life and benefited me by keeping my emotions in check.
One of the other things about this class was its structure, which was quite different from what I thought it would be. Going into a pose, it is important to slow it down and focus on the muscles I am stretching because going fast might be harmful and risky. Once I went into the pose, I relaxed the body and “Quietened it down” meaning I released all of the tension that I had when I went into the pose. To release the tension, I had to breathe a lot so breathing was one of the most important parts of the stretch. If at any point, the mind goes outside of the body, the pose could break down leading to an injury so I must always keep my mind on the pose.
As important as it is to try my best to realize that sometimes I can’t do every pose that I want to. Instead of focusing on the result of the pose and trying to get to that, my focus needed to be on the process of getting there. Sometimes I skip the process impulsively to find out that it is easier and safer to just follow the process. When I pay this close to details, there is more focus on one pose so sometimes I don’t get to more than 10 poses. Even though this is less than what I wanted, there wasn’t a single pose I did where my mind wasn’t 100% on my body. I learned to take a pose and instead of just doing it, I focus on the way to do it. Some of the poses that I already knew like when I do “small circles” were redefined. I extend up from the floor to the top of my head, pull my midsection slightly forward, extend from the center of my chest out to either side of my arms, pull my shoulder blades together, and then rotate while my arms feel lighter. This much attention to the small details ensured full engagement of the mind on my body.
As I went through the class, Master Bell would ask me how I was feeling many times. I wasn’t new to this because it happened during karate class and chi class but this was more frequent. However, when I answered I saw why because after every pose, there was another level of relaxation and/or other feeling. This was also important because it brought awareness to my entire body. If I wasn’t constantly checking in with my body, it would allow my mind to wander and not be on the body to enjoy the experience that I had gained from the pose.
Enjoying the class
As time went on, I started to enjoy the class and poses that I was doing, especially the relaxation I got from them. I carried this relaxation throughout the rest of my evening and sometimes even through parts of the next day. I started appreciating having another day of structure. Coming back from this class and doing homework was easier as I was able to focus more and get it done.
Relaxation also started becoming my way of living and I noticed it early on about 2 months in. My movements became slower but more sure such as walking in school or the store. My body was more free as there was no tension and I was able to think with more clarity. These changes might have seemed subtle to any person from the outside but to me, they were very impactful and have changed my life a lot. Other people around me must have also noticed like in school where they want to hang out with me and want to talk with me.
This could also be a result of a new experience I had in class where I was able to feel another level of chi when I was doing the opening pattern. I felt relaxed and quiet and when we did the opening pattern Master Bell asked us to hold our hands out and just focus on the space between. It took a while but then I felt a force pushing my hands apart and when I inhaled and pulled them apart, exhaled, and brought them together I felt tingling throughout my body. Master Bell noticed it and asked me how I felt and told me to lock in this experience. Now every time I do chi practice, I quiet down and look for feeling.
Changes to My Life
Something I realized very recently that my mom pointed out was how I was being more honest. This came from when I shared with the class how I sent my mom out of the room when she was trying to watch over me and help me stay focused. I told Master Bell every detail without leaving things out and I humbly accepted that what I did was foolish because I was the one who needed her to watch me. Once I accepted that and went to talk with my mom, I was honest and told her what happened and how because I was feeling emotional.
Master Bell corrected this saying that at some point more than the emotions or impulses, it was about having a moral compass. I agreed because even if I feel emotional, and morally, I must show respect towards my parents which means that I should talk to them respectfully. I was also trying to send my mom out of the room when she owns this house and is responsible for it, which is not right. I am allowed to stay in this house that my parents provide for me so I have to appreciate that and accept that whatever they do is for the betterment of me.
Along with this, after class one night it came to Master Bell’s knowledge that my brother and I were not riding around in the car by ourselves. When asked why, I told him that we were always being impulsive with each other so our parents didn’t think it was safe to let us ride in the car without an adult around. He said that this doesn’t even need to be addressed since we already know how to control our impulses. There was a blank space for the reason that we couldn’t ride together and my brother and I accepted along with our parents that we could make this work and that there wasn’t any reason that we shouldn’t ride together. Along with missing out on riding together, we were also missing out on communicating with each other and sharing ideas. We were missing social skills and so much more due to us acting like little kids just because we could and not living up to the level we know of.
Internationally Certified Instructor
When Master Bell told us, “You are on the path to becoming master,” I couldn’t see myself becoming that. I never imagined myself even becoming blackbelt let alone teaching other people. As I progressed however, I became more confident and now I am a blackbelt with an instructors certificate teaching others and bringing them on this path as well. What this certification means to me is that I have dedicated myself to these three arts(Tang Soo Do, Yoga, Chi Kung) and I have come to the place to understand how these arts benefit me. As an instructor however, I must remain humble because there is always a risk of becoming arrogant which doesn’t allow me to accept my mistakes and grow. To remain humble, I tell the students about my story from when I was at their stage in this journey which constantly reminds me of where I came from and how much effort it took from others and myself to be how I am now.
Conclusion
This class brought many new changes to my life and has made it better. Now, I have an additional art to help me navigate through this life and make me stronger and healthier. With this new knowledge and new ways of doing things, I can be sure that I remain humble as I grow and help others to grow. This class taught me to be patient even further from how I was living and was a reminder to slow down and remain more conscious of my state of being. It helped me to quieten down from the outside world and focus all of that energy into making myself better.
How It All Started
I started on this journey as a 5-year-old and I was just like any other kid. I would play games on the phone, play outside, go to birthday parties on weekends, and eat junk food. I used to resist coming to karate class. I would stay at home or not come to the car and when I came to the car, I would stay in the car and not come to class. I remember an incident where I stayed in the car and that was the last time I didn’t come to class. After that incident, I didn’t resist coming to class even though sometimes I would feel tired. In karate class, I was taught logical ways that challenged my impulsive and emotional ways. My first challenge was using my parents’ cell phones. I used to play games on their phones. I used it without them knowing and I learned that I had to ask their permission to use it. This lesson was the foundation for more learning later on.
Sometimes, I would not be in the place to listen and learn. This is where the exercises would come into play. Through moving and breathing, the exercises brought balance by syncing all three aspects of me: mind, body, and spirit. Tang Soo Do promotes balance through many exercises ranging from jumping jacks and sit-ups to forms and drills. When I do an exercise, my mind leads the body with instructions on how to do it. Counting the number of jumping jacks and making sure that the exercise is being done the way it was taught using the mind. The body will carry out the actions. The spirit is the emotional state and is connected to the body through breathing. When we do the form, for example, we use the mind to create the opponent, the body to move realistically to counter the opponent’s moves, and connecting the spirit through breathing.
My relationship with my family was another big challenge because I always thought that they were annoying and followed up with me too closely. It took some time to understand and trust that they wanted me to be better. I sometimes thought I could do things by myself but when I tried it and it didn’t work, I realized I needed my family members. I always looked up to my brother so I would always try to be around him but he didn’t like that so he would push me away. I learned to express that I wanted to spend time with him and then we could interact on a more mature level. With my mom, I would always think that she was following up too closely but she was just teaching by showing me things that weren’t working. My dad was the same way he wanted me to be healthy so when he saw me making unhealthy choices, he told me that it would lead to me being sick but I said I know what I am doing. He would show examples of unhealthy people and if I still didn’t listen, he would sometimes make a call which I didn’t like. Now when he tells me something, I can listen to it and if I don’t like it, I express my opinion but accept that it is probably for my best.
Training to studying was another one of the biggest changes in my practice. Initially, training was just for the physical benefit. I used to do checklist training. It was the same jumping jacks, situps, and forms. The problem was I was using my memory instead of realistically seeing what my body needed whether it was more jumping jacks or more forms. Studying is breaking down the exercise or technique and changing it to the way I was taught and then putting it back together. In the forms, I had to create an opponent and move accordingly and that is using the creativity in the brain rather than just remembering what moves to do. It was one of the most significant changes in my training. The benefits were not just in martial arts but also in school where it was easier to focus and learn. Adding this to my morning routine made it more consistent and effective.
In school, I started noticing the difference between me and my peers. I was a lot more logical in the decisions compared to them. I stood out from the crowd which was a good thing but I saw it as isolating myself and I thought it wasn’t good. I had the urge to be impulsive and blend in with the crowd but at the back of my mind, it didn’t seem sensible to me.
Promotion is moving along the belt system and it is done when the student has taken what is given to them and made it a part of them. I liked getting new belts and getting promoted to the next level. At every level, however, I had to step up and accept the challenges I faced because it would make me better. Blackbelt is a new beginning or the beginning of the end. This meant I either humbled down and learned things to make life simpler or to think I have arrived so there is nothing else to learn. I had to remain humble because I saw so many places where I thought I knew what I was doing but realistically I didn’t. I learned that it is hard for me to stay focused on a task so I had to humble down and accept that I was distracted. Once I did that, I could correct my habit. Teaching the students also made me learn more about how patient and tolerant I am and it showed me what I thought I knew.
I live by what Master Bell taught me: Today a teacher, forever a student. This means whatever I do, I continue to learn and grow. Everything I’ve learned from these 10 years, I’ll continue to use to live better.
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